awkward situations
by constellation way
Summary: Merida's trying to watch a movie, but Aster's bored, especially because there are a million and one things he'd rather be doing with her. Unfortunately, what with the constant interruptions, he's not having much luck convincing her otherwise. (He's pretty sure her parents hate him.) Jack also learns the value of knocking on doors before entering. [modern!au, asterida. oneshot.]


**okay, this is nothing like i've ever written before. it just kind of cropped up in my mind and i thought it'd be fun to write heh. especially since i've never written asterida before when they're actually together. didn't realise how fun this would be to write HAHA (even though it was just totally written for fun omg haha)**

**hope you enjoy i guess!**

* * *

"Merida. _Merida_."

"Stop whining," Merida shushes, as Aster Bunnymund sighs and drapes his arm along the couch behind her. "I'm trying to watch the movie."

"We've watched it before," Aster complains, as the screen flashes from Captain America to the Black Widow and to Bruce Banner and Tony Stark. He'll never understand why Merida loves re-watching her favourite movies so much – though he'll definitely admit that the huge room in her house dedicated to a giant screen and a fantastic sound system is pretty great. And the fact that Merida's pressed up close to him as the movie plays, her legs curled up next to her while Aster's jean-clad legs stick out over the couch, his feet firmly on the ground. "And I _don't _whine."

"Yes, you do," Merida says, not taking her eyes off the screen. "You _always _whine." And then there's a triumphant smile on her face as she adds: "And especially when you're with me."

"I have every reason to, sheila," Aster says. "Do you know how many other things we could be doing right now if we weren't re-watching the Avengers for, like, the third time?"

"Enlighten me," Merida says.

Aster smirks.

He lowers his head, turning his face so that he's leaning in close to her. "You really want to know?" he asks, in a low voice, his breath hot on the side of her face, her neck, and she shivers almost imperceptibly. "We could be having a good, hard make-out session right now."

"Oh?" Merida says, as if she's unimpressed, but Aster lowers his arm so that it's wrapped around her waist. "And miss the movie?"

"Merida, babe, you know it's better than the movie," Aster breathes, and Merida almost sighs (_damn _Aster Bunnymund and his ability to unravel her completely).

"Bunny – " She turns to roll her eyes at him, to take her eyes off the screen for one second – but Aster grabs his chance and presses his lips to hers, quick and hard and fast, pulling her closer, wrapping his arm tighter around her.

Merida can't help it. Her arms wind around so they're around his neck, and she kisses him back. (After all, it's just a movie – she can always press rewind.) This is much more important, the feel of his lips against hers, the way he lets out a moan as he shifts his body slightly so that he's facing her directly, her lowering her hands so that they're pressing against his broad, muscular chest.

She pulls him tighter, closer, gripping him by his shirt, and then they're both sinking into the kiss, and Aster's hands are getting lower and lower, his hands, warm and large and comfortable, creeping up inside her shirt –

A gruff voice clears his throat behind them.

Aster and Merida spring apart as if scalded.

"H-hi, Mr Dunbroch," Aster stammers, his face turning slightly red as he turns his eyes onto the screen. He risks a quick glance up, and then hurriedly turns his face back. God, Fergus Dunbroch scares him shitless.

"Hi, Dad," Merida says, and Aster wonders how she can sound so natural, as if she hasn't been caught kissing her boyfriend passionately on the couch in her house. But then again, Aster remembers, Merida and her father have a very good relationship.

"Watch the movie if you're going to play it," Fergus grunts, and Aster risks another quick glance up to see hard eyes boring into him, and he gulps and hurriedly turns back to face the screen again.

"What else would we be doing?" Merida asks, innocently, and Fergus grunts again and heads out of the room.

Aster sinks back onto the cushions. "Your dad hates me."

Merida waves a hand dismissively. "He's just protective."

"He hates me," Aster repeats.

Merida laughs, and moves across the couch so she's snuggled back up next to Aster again, and she drapes his arm around her shoulders. "He doesn't hate you," she murmurs, and she rests her head on his shoulder as she turns her attention back to the screen.

Aster tries to look at the screen, he really does, but is it really his fault that he can't focus when Merida's curled up so close to him?

His arm drops down so it's back around her waist.

"I'm serious, though, sheila," he says, in a low voice, pulling her just a bit closer: "We could be doing so many other things right now."

"It's a good movie," Merida says, almost weakly, as she feels his hand on her skin again, warm and rough and comfortable, as he pulls her even closer.

"We've watched it three times," Aster says into her hair, his voice deep, his lips nearly at her ears, at her face.

"This is one of my favourite parts," says Merida.

Aster wants to growl; and then he sighs. "Well," he says, grudgingly, "the Black Widow's pretty hot."

"Watch it, Bunny, or you're going to end up on the floor," Merida warns, and Aster chuckles and takes a few strands of her hair and curls it around his fingers, playing with the tangled strands of red.

"Admit it, you'd drag me back up onto the couch sooner or later," he says, running his hands through her hair, through the mess of red curls, and she doesn't deny it, she just smiles and leans against him even more. (He loves her hair, he really does – it's explosive and wild and bold, just like her. He's addicted to it.)

He pulls Merida nearer, so near that she's nearly sitting on his lap, ignoring her complaints and protests, and he smirks as he puts his lips to her ear, as he slides his hands lower, as she shivers as he speaks, his voice low and his breath warm: "Have I ever told you how sexy – "

"_Ahem_."

" – your accent is!" Aster nearly scrambles to the other side of the couch once again, his face panicked.

Merida bites back a laugh, and a tall, regal-looking, brown-haired woman stands behind them, frowning, her arms crossed.

"Mum," Merida nods, trying to hold back her giggles.

Aster looks up, just once, and meets the hard gaze of Elinor Dunbroch; and abruptly his back straightens and he turns to face the screen, his face heating up. Elinor Dunbroch is another one who terrifies him completely. Actually, she and Fergus probably both freak him out just as badly. Merida's parents are definitely not to be messed with.

"The movie," Elinor says, shortly, before sweeping out of the room.

Aster lets out a sigh of relief.

"Oh, relax," Merida laughs. "They're not going to come back this way again."

"They both hate me," Aster mourns. "Both your parents."

"You know how Mum's like about rules and decorum and all that nonsense," Merida tells him. "_Relax_."

"How am I supposed to relax?" he buries his head in his hands, still mortified by the interruptions from both Fergus and Elinor.

Merida only laughs again. "Don't tell me you're scared of my parents," she says.

"Have you seen your dad? He can totally pulverise me, Red! And your mum can probably order my beheading or something without batting an eyelid!"

"Now you're just being dramatic," Merida tells him.

Aster flops back onto the cushions, his eyes shut as he groans dramatically; and then he opens one eye. "I need comfort after all that trauma," he decides. And he yanks Merida down, so she's lying next to him, in front of him, her back to him as his arms snake their way around her waist.

"You're ridiculous," she huffs.

"I'm an opportunist," Aster corrects. "And I need comfort after that kind of traumatic experience."

"Very mature, Bunny," Merida says.

He ignores her last statement and arranges himself so that his chest is pressed up against her from behind, and he lowers his head so that it's resting on her shoulder, on her collarbones; and he hears her catch her breath, and feels her heart rate increase rapidly the way he's pulled her so close.

"Bunny," she says, "trying to watch the movie here."

"You don't have to watch it," he whines. "You know what's coming up next."

"I still like to watch it," she says, and against her will she lets out a sigh when he nuzzles his face to her shoulders, to her neck: "Bunny – "

"I need comfort, sheila," he murmurs, soft and low, as his arms tighten around her: "Third time's the charm."

"You're hopeless," she scolds.

"Only when it comes to you," he tells her, and watches as her face flames red, nearly matching her hair, before fading away; and he drapes one leg over hers, and he pulls her close as she relaxes and reaches up a hand to run through his own dark mop of hair, and his hands somehow find their way up and under her shirt, and he buries his face into her shoulder, her neck –

Snickers, loud and clear.

This time, there's no chance to bolt away, but Merida raises herself up and sighs: "Boys!"

Hubert, Harris and Hamish are smirking from somewhere on the right side of the room, as Merida sets herself upright and Aster, grudgingly, does the same. _Stupid little triplets_.

Not that he dislikes them, not really. It's just that they really have very bad timing.

He's aware his face is red as the three boys fix their eyes on him, tugging on his shirt and clearing his throat loudly as he swivels around to look at the screen again.

On the other side of the couch, Merida leans on the cushions and drapes her legs across the couch, so that her feet are on his lap. She smirks at him, when he looks from her to the triplets and back again.

"You might want to watch out," Hubert says. "Mum and Dad are coming."

Merida pulls at her shirt, slightly, making it look just a little less crumpled, and Aster hurriedly runs his hands through his hair hurriedly. It's not a moment too soon, because Fergus and Elinor enter the room once again, Fergus watching him warily with hard eyes, Elinor's gaze resting disapprovingly on the way Merida's sprawled across the couch with her feet on Aster's jeans.

"Will you be staying for dinner, Aster?" Elinor asks, her voice clipped.

"Yes, he is," Merida says for him, before he can say anything else. "Are you going out, Mum, Dad?"

"We are," says Fergus, and he glowers at Aster, who swallows, a frantic look coming over his face. "And the boys are staying over at the Parrs' tonight."

"We should be back around eleven," Elinor tells them. "_Behave_. Maudie will be here."

"Maudie's always here, Mother," says Merida, and she beams at them: "Besides, what else would we do?"

Fergus snorts, and it's another ten minutes before the rest of the Dunbroch family finally leave the house.

Merida gets to her feet abruptly, then, and turns the movie off.

"I thought you wanted to watch the movie," Aster says, still on his place on the couch.

"I've decided there are more important things to do," she says, and she hauls him up: "Come on, my room!"

"What about Maudie?" Aster hisses, all too aware of the short, plump woman's ability to appear at any moment in the huge house, without a moment's warning.

"We made an arrangement," Merida explains, as she leads him up the staircase. "I let her invite her boyfriend, this huge guy who works for Dingwall." She sighs, a little dreamily. "Oh, he is _hot_."

"Hey!" Aster says, indignantly.

Merida laughs, and she kisses him on the cheek lightly as she places a hand on his arms, muscular and tanned – "Don't worry," she winks. "He's not my type."

"Oh, yeah, sheila?" Aster asks, ignoring the way his heart rate's increasing dramatically as she grabs his hand, as she leads him, up and up and up: "So what is your type?"

"Australian," she breathes, coming to a halt suddenly and dragging him close. "Tall, with green eyes, and lean and well-built and muscular, and with a really annoying accent and a huge temper and an attitude to match his build. Not to mention ridiculously charming, very bad at apologising, who likes to disturb me during movies and is mortally afraid of my parents – "

She doesn't really get a chance to say anymore, because he slams his lips against hers and sweeps her up in his arms and carries her up, all the way up the stairs to her room.

* * *

Jack's annoyed.

It's a Friday night, and he _should _be out with Aster trying to find something to do, or messing around with his younger siblings. Unfortunately, Aster's at Merida's place, and Jamie is staying over at Dash Parr's house, and Emma's on some school trip, and Sophie's fast asleep.

He blames Aster for this completely. It's not like his best friend _has _to go be with Merida tonight.

A thought comes into his mind, then, half-formed and taking shape, and he grins and jumps to his feet.

It's not long afterwards that he finds himself in front of the Dunbrochs' house. He lets out a low whistle as he looks up, as he nears the door. He's been here before, of course he has, but it still strikes him just how damn rich Merida is.

He rings the bell, and a short lady he recognises as Maudie opens it. Her face is red, and she looks completely flustered. Jack doesn't really bother himself with finding out why.

"Is Aster here?" he asks; which is kind of stupid, because he can see Aster's bike in the driveway.

Maudie nods. "Her room," she says.

Jack nods, cheerfully. Of course they're in her room – they're probably having some sort of heavy make-out session. They'll be completely mortified if he barges in on them, he thinks; which is, of course, precisely what he's going to do. If there's one thing he loves doing best, it's annoying Aster Bunnymund.

"I know where it is," he tells her, and he slips in as she shuts the door, and he makes his way up the stairs, not really taking notice as Maudie hurries into some other room.

He takes his time bounding up the stairs, until he finally reaches the floor with Merida's room. The door's closed, of course, but it's silent behind the door, and he figures they must be having a really passionate make-out session. He grins to himself, and he swings the door open and bounces in, happily –

And then he lets out a loud yelp as Merida shrieks, and he immediately covers his eyes with his hands:

"OH, GOD, you're naked you are very very naked – "

"_GET OUT!"_

Jack stumbles back out the door, before slamming it closed, breathing heavily as he leans against it.

"Oh, God," he says to himself, and he thinks of how Aster will slaughter him if he's found out Jack's so much _looked _at his girlfriend without a shirt on. Aster's fiercely protective of Merida - Jack can remember how the Australian once gave Eret a black eye for trying to make a move on her. If Aster ever finds out that Jack barged into Merida's bedroom and found her without an inch of clothing on, even if it's by accident - oh, good Lord. Jack doesn't even want to _think _about what Aster will do to him.

"Jack?"

It's Bunny, coming down the stairs in just his jeans alone, his face confused. He's holding packets of food in his hands, and somewhere in Jack's brain he figures that Aster must've headed up to the small pantry on the floor above. Another part of his brain screams at him: _OUT! GET OUT! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!__  
_

"Bunny." Jack smiles weakly.

"What are you doing here?"

Aster's eyes fly to the door that Jack's leaning against, Jack's flushed face, the guilty expression that Aster knows all too well; and he thinks of the muffled yell that he's just heard, the words unclear and incoherent, Merida's furious scream of rage.

Jack laughs weakly. "We-ell, that's kind of a funny story heh – "

Then the door is dragged open, and Jack nearly falls to the ground as Merida stands there, her face red, with Aster's shirt pulled over her, clearly oversized and barely covering her.

Aster looks from Merida's red face to Jack's, and his eyes narrow. "Did you just open the door without calling out?"

He meets Merida's eyes, her face still flaming. Aster's face hardens; his expression darkens.

Jack gulps. "Bunny, I can explain – "

"_FROST_!"

* * *

**i know, i know, it's nothing like i've ever written before. heh. but it was soooo much fun writing this. **

**poor jack. (okay tbh that last part was partly inspired by NCIS' Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. heh.) **

**soo...any comments? reviews would be great haha**


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